I received amazing insight from Dr. Larry Crabb today. I am reading an excerpt about understanding who we are and what relationships tell us about ourselves. It really breaks down how we have come to put up so many barriers to protect ourselves and, in the process, lose sight of what God's purpose is for us in relationships. Relationships are difficult and we have to trust God through them but sometimes we are too concerned about self protection, stating, "Perhaps it's a better idea to set clear boundaries between ourselves and others and to enjoy relationships- as much as we can- from a safe distance."
The problem with self protection is that we become self-centered. "What I understand to be the biblical approach encourages us to view self-centeredness as a worse enemy than self hatred... As we live our lives we will either put ourselves first or we will live for God...Either we will devote all our energies to overcoming our difficulties so that we can enjoy life again, or we will be more concerned to trust God in the midst of our problems so that we can better reflect his glory and serve his purposes."
When we have been hurt we are more vulnerable and develop self-hatred. Once we start thinking that way, as soon as we view God primarily as an ally in the all-important battle to overcome our self-hatred, we will treat the Bible as little more than a revelation of God's determination to help us like ourselves more. Jesus' sacrifice on the cross then is valued as proof of our worth. God's love becomes the means by which we find release from shame. The Holy Spirit is reduced to a cheerleader who stirs us with excitement about our terrific potential. And the community of believers becomes, more than anything else, an opportunity for personal healing. That is the reverse of the original plan."
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