New job!

So, I finally did it (or I should say God did it)! I started a new job this week and, boy, am I tired! I haven't worked a full day in months, let alone get up before 8 am! It feels amazing to be up before the sun rises and to so work hard for 8 hours that I can come home and fully enjoy my rest because, after all, I deserve it!

I love having a new group of women to befriend, new patients to get to know, new processes to adapt to, a new office environment to work in. I can say all of this now but if you had talked to me on Thursday night, after I'd accepted the job, you would have thought my world had just ended and that I was about to enter the job from hell.

Thursday was my fourth interview at this Pain Management Clinic in Los Gatos. I had interviewed with the Operations Manager, the owner, and the doctor. Now was my first 8 hour work day, but I wasn't hired yet. I was going to be judged on how well I did a job that I had never been trained to do. I had nightmares for a week leading up to the big day and had to work extra hard to keep a smile on my face as I entered the doctor's office for my judgment day.

It was the fastest work day I've ever had! I came in at 8 am and from the second I sat down, the phone did not stop ringing and the patients did not stop coming! No exaggeration. I checked patients in, answered the phone, typed up messages for the doctor, and scheduled new appointments. It was hectic and stressful and I loved it...and hated it. I had been wanting this job for a month and now that I was there, I was having second thoughts. Was I capable of doing this? Could I learn all of these new terms and processes? Was I going to be a detriment or a help to this staff? I started doubting my abilities a bit and wondering if I was ready to start on the bottom of the totem pole again. By the end of the day, they asked me if I wanted the job and I said yes. I was still nervous about it but I was also so ready to leave the job I have now and to make some extra money so I could get by.

I went home and cried...for two hours. Everyone asked me why I was so upset. I just got a new job, why wasn't I happy? I couldn't understand it either. I think the past 2 months caught up with me and my emotional breakdown just needed to come. I cried about my piling bills, my sadness about leaving the job I've been in for over two years, my worries about having to learn a whole new job, sadness to not seeing my boyfriend everyday anymore, worries that this new job still wouldn't pay all of my bills, worries that I won't be able to get up everyday so early (I haven't worked before 8 am in years), and worries that I was just too bogged down with too many things to do. I was stressed, overwhelmed, worried, and nervous about this huge change in my life. Why? I wasn't letting God take care of it like I should have. I had let him lead me to this job and when He finally GAVE IT TO ME, I freaked out and second judged the decision because I had started holding on too tight and I couldn't tell if it was MY decision or GOD'S anymore. That's where I fouled up and that's where I changed my thinking during the weekend.

I started praying again and, guess what? I had a really good week at my new job. I am actually, get this, LOVING it! I absolutely adore the girls I work with (every one of them!) and I really like the patients I'm getting to know. It's fun to have new things to learn, and stressful. I have always wanted to work in the medical field and now I am much closer than I have ever been before. I'm already learning how to read and call in prescriptions, how to read treatment charts, and how to schedule appointments. I love how streamlined the processes are in this new office. Imagine- every girl there knows how to do everyone else's job and, therefore, can help out wherever needed at any time. Everyone dives in and answers phones and takes on tasks. There is no hierarchy, although everyone is qualified to do their own specific things. Obviously, each girl has her own job but they are all so willing to help each other and I am no exception. I can ask anyone anything anytime and they are all so patient. I'm catching on quickly but there is still so much to learn and it will take me months to do it. I just love how positive and happy this environment is, even amidst complete chaos. That isn't to say that we haven't had drama in the office or stressed out patients or problems. That's the amazing thing. This stuff can take things as they come with a smile on their face and the right attitude. I am so grateful for this new experience. It's going to be tough but already, it's become easier than I ever thought it would be. God has given me the right attitude and the memory I need to retain information. I hate making mistakes and dread those times but, as long as I acknowledge that they will occur and that I will just learn from them, I know it will be okay. Praise God for His gift to me. I am so excited about this new stage in my life.

That said, I am becoming a but melancholy about my last day at CHA. I am going to miss these people I work with. I know I'll keep in touch with most of them but it won't be the same to not see them everyday. I wont miss anything else, though, and for that, I'm grateful. I just hope that my work there during these past two and a half years will leave a positive impression on those I leave behind. I have an "exit interview" tomorrow, which I'm a little nervous about but I will be praying today and tomorrow that God gives me all the right words to say and that I say what needs to be said but in the most positively critical way possible. Only God can do that!

New possiblities

I can't believe that it's been over a month since I last blogged. Let me tell you- so much has happened since then! When I returned home from Uganda last month, I had every intention of writing again, so I could finish updating everyone on the last week of our trip. Unfortunately, that did not happen because the week I came back, I was spiritually tested beyond what I thought I could bear and so low that I didn't feel like writing. I was distracted by my own misery and, in that, forgot all about Africa and everything I'd gone there for.

Looking back on this past month of my spiritual test, it's so easy to see that my world was not falling apart, as I thought it was, and that God truly had me in His hands the whole time. Through it, I was constantly reminded to lean on Him more than ever and it brought me to a new place of spiritual refreshment and excitement. However, I was also so distracted by what was going on, that I forgot all about Uganda, the kids, and everything I'd learned about myself and God through my experience (just what Satan wanted).

When I initially returned, I started having back problems and before I knew it I was laid up on my couch for almost a week in intense pain. The pain continued for weeks. Then, my boss told me he was cutting my hours in HALF. That was a huge blow, especially since I was somewhat tight financially anyway, since I'd just returned from a month of no income. Then, my boyfriend's mom, who is suffering from cancer, got incredibly worse very fast, and my grandma found out her cancer had returned. Then, my dad had his surgery and my mom was struggling with her own health issues. I was incredibly worried about all of my friends and family who were suffering around me and I was also worried about my own future. Then, I was told I was being dropped from my medical benefits.

I really felt scared to go anywhere or do anything because every time I picked up the phone or went in to work, there was more bad news. Ever have weeks, months, or years like that? Well, my bad bout lasted a month. I was low, depressed, no fun to be around, scared, worried, burdened, and empty. That's when God started waking me up.

My friend who we had hired at work right before I left for Africa, became my light in the darkness. Her passion for life and faith in Christ led our conversations and before I knew it, I was embarking on a new career path. She is a consultant for PartyLite, a home fragrance and home decor company, and she helped me get started doing the same thing. Knowing I have a new way to earn income, while I look for another job, is a huge relief to me and a blessing. Her joy is contagious and it has helped me become joyful again in the office, as well as in my new business. Through this business, I have had the opportunity to reignite old relationships and even to create new ones. I have only been 2 weeks in the PartyLite world, but I feel blessed tenfold by it already! Here's my website, in case you want to check it out: www.partylite.biz/sites/chelsealyn/

Then, God started moving me in my heart to get back to church, start reading my Bible again, and start praying specifically for my Bible Study group. I prayed that I would become a better example of Christ to these girls and that I would talk to Him more about what He wanted to do through me and through them. It became an explosion this summer, as I started getting in touch with them again and started meeting with some of them. It turns out, they all want the same things and have awesome ideas of ways to help this group of young women grow in Christ!

God has also taught me things through my financial crisis, just like a good dad. I have always struggled with my finances and it has always come between me and God. Now, I am forced to assess every penny I am spending and it has really woken me up. I am setting new goals for my spending for when I get a new job and I am excited about growing up in this area. I have also been blessed i a way because this has allowed me to feel, in the slightest way, how people living in poverty must feel. I don't have enough money to pay all of my bills, let alone buy gas, or food so everyday is a struggle. I am blessed with family and friends who support me and yet so many do not have any options and they are forced to go without food for days at a time.

God has also blessed me through this part time job experience with TIME. I have had time in my mornings to visit old friends I haven't seen in years, to plan for my small group meetings, to work on my PartyLite business, to help my mom clean her house, to plan my best friend's bridal shower and bachelorette party, and to do things I normally would be rushing around trying to accomplish in my evenings. Thank you, God, for giving me this time this summer. I really think I needed just that!

All in all, I feel more spiritually refreshed and mature having gone through this awful month. I feel God moving in my life and moving me towards something new and exciting. I am open to the possibilities that lie ahead for me and can't wait to find out what they are. I will keep you all updated.

The Nile

One of my long time dreams came true Tuesday, when I actually got to take a boat ride on the Nile! I even put my hands in this historic, ancient river. It was beautiful and so peaceful there. Since it was a Tuesday, it was pretty quiet. What an adventure getting to and from there, though!

We got to the taxi park in Kampala at about 10:30 in the morning and found the bus going to Jinja (which is where the source of the Nile is). The bus was almost full by the time we got on it so I had to cram into the back seat with three other people while Raquel had to sit in one of the pull down seats in the middle of the aisle (the least comfortable place to be). At least I was by the window, which is good for the trip but bad for the taxi park. It was so hot that we were all sweating just sitting there so I had to leave the window open. Unfortunately, when you do this in a taxi park, hundreds of people come by trying to shove their goods on you to buy. You can buy anything from water to shoes to biscuits to table linens. If you're a mzungu, you're even more of a target, so I had the happy task of trying to get rid of these pushy guys as they came by my window. Some of them started getting more aggressive as time went on. One guy asked me if I wanted water. I said no. Then he shoved the water bottle through the window, into my face, asking I would buy it. I gently pushed it away and firmly said "no." You know what he did? He shoved me! Unbelievable! I was so done at that point. Thank goodness the bus was starting to move at that time. We had sat there for a half hour before leaving the taxi park.

So, then I had a small boy, maybe 1 year old, sitting on his mama's lap next to me. He gave me the evil eye pretty much the entire trip. He also felt it necessary to throw food at me. Fun. Three hours later, we arrived in Jinja. Thank God. Then we had the fun task of throwing off all the boda drivers who hounded us the second we got off the bus. We went into the gas station nearby and asked them where to go and how much a boda ride should be. Then we found a driver and asked him to take us to the source of the Nile. He asked for 2500. I told him 2000. He said 2500. I turned to the boda driver next to him and asked him if HE would take us or 2000. Before he could respond, our boda driver said, "Ok, let's go". haha, that meant he'd take us for 2000. Good negotiating skills, huh? :)

Once we got to the Nile, it was so peaceful, we felt like it was a welcome respite from the crazy taxi ride. Hardly anyone was there, being that it was a Tuesday afternoon. (Except for some school kids on field trips, who asked for pictures with us.) We ate lunch at a little restaurant overlooking the Nile. It was all outdoor seating, with a thatched roof for shelter. We had chicken and chips. Then we decided to take a boat ride on the Nile. It was only about a 20 minute ride but it was so amazing to be floating on the Nile! Our driver took us to Lake Victoria then back down the Nile. The source of the Nile is Lake Victoria and the river flows all the way to the Mediterranean Sea. It takes four months for it to get from Uganda to Egypt. Crazy!

After our boat ride, we were ready to go, knowing that our ride would be another 3 hours and we really needed to be back before dark. We got to the taxi park and were very pleased to have our pick of seats. We sat in the back, together, next to the window and the taxi filled up so fast that we were able to leave by 3:30pm. A few hours later, however, we stopped due to brake problems and had to wait for another taxi to come along and pick us up. We didn't get back to the city until 7 pm. Once we got to Kampala, the city was more of a zoo than usual. Traffic was bumper to bumper. It was dark by this time and we were ready to get home, especially after the happenings of the night before in front of our house (I'll tell you that story in a minute). We kept inching closer and closer to the taxi park but not very quickly. At about 7:15, the taxi stopped and the driver told everyone to get out. Raquel and I didn't know exactly where we were so we wanted to move fast and get a boda driver asap. We asked the first one we saw to take us home. We didn't even haggle over the price. We got on and received the ride of our lives. He raced through traffic so fast we felt like we were going to fall off. He sped between cars so we felt like we might lose a limb. He almost hit a taxi and almost hit a bus. We had to stop short a few times. By the time we got to Sanyu, we were shaking from all of the adrenaline and had to drag ourselves up the stairs to safety. The next day we found out exactly why the city was such a madhouse. Apparently, there had been a strike at the car parts shops, which are located next to the taxi park. There were fires and riots. They were burning tires so even driving through the city for the next few day, we came back with black soot all over our faces.

The next day, when we walked down that street, the asphalt was black from the fires. We were lucky that e were dropped off so far away from all of that craziness. These last few days have been really interesting. On Monday night, a woman was robbed on the street in frott of our house. It was about 8:30 at night and it was RIGHT in front of our house. We heard her screaming and ran out to see what had happened. She must have screamed for 15 or 20 minutes. She had been walking by herself down the dark street and someone had come out of the bushes and stole her purse from her. She was in shock so she kept screaming. It was unnerving, to say the least. We had 7 pm curfew anyway but now we saw why. This is a street that we take home every night, too. Then, this morning, we saw one of the volunteers who stays at Sanyu and she was all scraped up and a mess. She was hit by a boda driver the day before. This city is insane! Thank God we have been kept safe and are leaving soon. Keep hose prayers coming!

Well, I'd love to share more about our week's adventures but I have to go now to the slum program. I won't be able to access internet again until I get back home (unless I get to when we're in London). These next few days will be crazy anyway, with the stuff we'll be doing. Today is our last day at the slum program, last day with the babies. Tomorrow is our last day at Ssenge with the boys and Sunday we ship out to Queen Elizabeth Park. It's a 7 hour bus ride so we'll travel that day and stay at a hostel that night and Monday night. We have a 2-3 hour game drive on Monday through the park then we get on a bus again on Tuesday for Entebbe. We are staying with a pastor and his wife in their guest house that night since it is close to the airport. They will drive us to the airport the next day then we fly to London an have a 19 hour layover. Wear going to stay in a hostel in Piccadilly Circus that night but we probably won't sleep much. We want to see the city! I'm so grateful that I'm with my adventurous friend. Then we fly home on Thursday! I can't believe it. It feels like w are on our journey home already and yet there is still so much going on that we won't be resting by any means. Anyway, I wish I could blog more this week but I will definitely update everyone when I return. So, look for updates next week! Love you all.

God's blessings in Uganda

It's amazing to see how dramatically God has changed my heart during the last few days. I can't begin to describe to you how AWESOME this last week has been and how HAPPY I am to be here. I'm finally at the point where I get excited about each day and feel like my heart is here and not a thousand miles away. I will miss these amazing kids and friends I have made while here. I can't believe how quickly these last few days are flying by. What a blessing. The slum program has been so much fun lately. The neighborhood kids have been coming arund so there are a lot of little ones to play with. That's what I love. It's a disappointment that not more of our street kids are coming yet but, with time, I believe they will.

I have become especially attached to one little girl at the slum program, Martha. She's probably about 4 and she lives in a house next door to the church. She latched on to me riht away on Friday anmd I sat with her and colored with her and carried here around all afternoon. She even fell asleep on my lap towards the end, which was the most amazing moment. It made me want to be a mom someday. At the end, when it came time to leave, I went to put Martha down, and he said, in english, "No". She grabbed on to me so tight, it was hard to get her down. Once I did, she wrapped her arms around my legs and wouldn't let me go. She held on to me so tightly, that I had a really hard time trying to get away. By then, the whole team had left and I was having such a tough time getting away. It was the most traumatic goodbye I've ever experienced. She cried and cried. Finally, George came back to get me and tell her in Lugandan that we had to go and would be back on Monday. I cried. It was incredibly emotional. On Monday, she found me right away and we still spent most of the afternoon together but \I me much more of an effort to spend time with lots of different kids at the same time. It helped ans she actually played with the other kids this time. She was more involved with others and when it came time to leave she was able to wave goodbye to me, rather than cry. She is in the pictures below. The one where I am holding her, I am standing next to Martin, one of the leaders of Voice of Hope, an organization that works with African Hearts to get kids off of the streets.


We have experienced so much in the last few days that I can't begin to describe it all to you. We had an awesome church experience on Sunday. We went out to Ssenge to go to church with the boys. It's in a rural area, so the building has four walls and a roof but no doors and open windows. We got there a little late and everyone got up and gave us their chairs. It was embarrassing but such a friendly, welcoming gesture in their culture. There were maybe a hundred people crammed into the small space. They had awesome worship. They sang acapella, except for a drum, and they DANCED the whole time. I had such a blast. It was fun to be with the boys there. They sang a song and I felt like a proud mother. I just look at where they are now and am amazed at what God has done. They are the sweetest, smartest boys I know. At that moment, I knew that this is why we came here. These boys didn't need money to be saved, they needed love, a safe place to live, healthy role models, and lots of hugs. When I look at the incredible role models they have in these men who call themselves their "uncles", I see how blessed these boys are. These guys don't just take care of their physical needs like food and beds. They sit down on the floor and color with them, they play soccer with them, they hug them, they talk to them, they show love to these boys that is rare. These boys adore their uncles and I can't think of better men for them to look up to. They show these boys who Jesus is in every sense. Although, Raquel and i play a small part in this, I can see so clearly how only 6 months of love has built the self esteem of these kids. Giving them worth and showing them that do have so much to offer is huge! Being here and showing them that is so important If I can reach one boy and Raquel another, and so on and so on, as volunteers come, that is something to praise God for!

New slum program

Well, I found out a little more of Shafique's [pictured above] story on Wednesday. We all headed toward town to get lunch but we passed through the slums on our way. Of course, a few of the kids saw us so they walked with us for blocks, until we got to the restaurant. Shafique was one of them. Once we got to the restaurant, the boys stopped at the top of the stairs as we walked in. We had to turn around and convince them it was ok to come in with us and have lunch. Four boys came with us and you should have seen how big their eyes got when they looked at the menu to choose what they wanted. Each boy got a huge plate of food. We gave them our leftovers to take home, too. They were smiling so big that day, especially Shafique. It turns out that he has only been on the streets for a month. No wonder he still has some innocence about him. He ran away because his mom left him and his father beat him. It's the most common story you'll hear in this city (or in most of Africa, for that matter). He comes from a village about 6 hours drive north of here so I'm not sure why he ended up coming here but he did and now African Hearts is working on ways to get him off the streets. It was encouraging to hear Abby talk about their goals since we haven't been able to see the program in full effect yet.

Due to the disintegration of the previous slum program, they had to start over and I didn't know exactly what it would look like. She said that they had a program that involved literacy, food, medicine, and Bible stories. They were able to invite the government, as well as other NGOs to come observe their program and partner with them. This allowed them to get more kids off of the streets and into school than African Hearts alone could do. This is what they are starting to implement again. It is encouraging to know that Raquel and I are in the right place at the right time. We are actually going to be able to help them implement this program while we are here. So, we are making a difference. We had our first meeting in our new place on Wednesday. It's an outside shelter, next to a church. The church is providing it for us, as well as a locker to put medical supplies and things we'll need.

Today is our first official day of starting the program. Wednesday, we kept it simple and had the kids color and draw. They loved it!


One boy in particular was so adorable. I handed him paper and crayons and he kept saying something to me in Lugandan and wouldn't take it. I asked Collins to translate. He said that the boy, Robert, didn't know how to draw. Collins told me to teach him. Yeah, like I know how to draw. I drew a simple house. He took the paper from me and colored it in. Then he asked me to draw something else for him to color in. He was sooo proud of that drawing, let me tell you! Look at that adorable smile!About 5 new people came 2 days ago so we are all working with the street kids together. These people will be here until next week, same as Raquel and I. I love our new team. They are all so awesome! There's a retired grandma who came, who is so sweet. I love that she travels to other countries in her retirement to work with kids! Anyway, so today, each of us on the team is responsible for something different. Some people will do games, some art, some songs, and Raquel and I a Bible lesson. Fun! I'm excited for the first time to be going! I also feel really good this morning for the first time in a week. I slept most of yesterday so I missed a lot. I'm grateful to be back in the game. I am still eager to be home but I am counting the days we have left and trying to be excited about each event we have planned.

I just want to tell you all thank you so much or your comments and constant encouragement for me while I've been here. It's helped so much. Some days I have felt a thousand miles away from God and I have felt spiritually attacked on all sides. Your encouragement and prayers has made an impact. Yesterday, I sat on my bed and listened to worship songs on my ipod for the first time since I've been here and just worshiped my amazing God. It was a breakthrough for me and has given me the light spirit I have today. Thank you for your prayers in getting me to that point. Praise God for His constant goodness!

Slums

I can't believe that I haven't even told you about the slums yet. That's where we go every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, from about 1 pm to 4:30 pm. We give food o the kids there and medicine, which is VERY basic. We clean wounds and take kids to the clinic if they have malaria or something else majorly wrong. Our first day in the slum was the hardest thing I've ever done. I knew it would be hard but I didn't expect to go through that degree of emotion. I cried for a day and a half. I don't even know how to begin to describe it all. The smaller kids are in Chisenyi (not sure of the spelling), which used to be the main area where African Hearts would serve. They have 2 tiny rooms (basically the size of small storage sheds) for the kids to sleep at night, with locks on them to keep them relatively safe. African Hearts used to work here with 2 other organizations. However, due to recent rifts between two of them, they have not been able to work here and have started serving in another slum, the Gulu wall, a few blocks away. This has been a real challenge for many reasons. One- the kids from Chisenyi do not like to come to the Gulu wall because the older boys are there and they fight with them a lot. There is also a language barrier betwene them because the older kids come from another area and speka a different language. Two- the older boys at the Gulu wall fought having anyone in their territory for awhile. Now they tend to sit back and let us feed the little kids but don't engage with us much. They still take the food, though. ;) These kids have not opned up o us much so we have not been able to really fgure out were a lot of them ave come form or how we could better serve them.
Yesterday, we saw a huge breakthrough with these kids. After serving food, they all gathered around and listened while Paul, one of the African Hearts leaders, spoke to them about our new plans. We just secured a room at a local church, where we will have the boys come (rather than go into the slums, they will come to us). We will better be able to play games with them, stock up on medical supplies and lock them up there, and have a larger safer area in which to work. Not to mention that the kids won't be allowed to smoke there so it will give us a break from that. After telling the kids this, they all started telling us things they'd like to have, such as a canvas to provide shelter for them at night (they sleep and live along a wall, in an open area), and jackets for the younger kids. It was amazing that they opened up to us and that they requested things for the younger ones, who they usually don't let in. Then they let us pray with them. It was a huge answer to prayer for this team, I know.

Raquel and I have become especially attached to one boy, Shafique. He grabbed onto me on the first day and would not stop telling me, "I want to go home with you." It broke my heart. When we had to say goodbye that first day, he cried. The next time we saw hime, I was standing next to Raquel and another white person (I don't remember who) and I saw him come over to us immediately and look closely at each of our faces til he saw mine. He lit up and I waved to him and he ran over and gave me the biggest hug. He just held onto me for awhile and I wanted to cry. He attached himsel to raquel that day, too, and now ever time we see him, he sticks with us. We want so badly to do something for him but are bot sure what. We want to get him off of the streets and in a home. He's such a sweet boy, with so much innocence still left that it breaks my heart to see him every day on the streets, where he is going to becomemore and more hardened by that life. We are praying for him each night and for God's leading us in what to do for him while we are here.

Everyday that we walk into the slums, the kids run to us right away and grab whichever hads are free.They walk with us over to the Gulu wall. The entire way, men standing on the streets call out to them and us and laugh most of the time. I don't understand exactly what they are saying but I have the impression that's it's not very flattering. They make fun of us and of them for associating together. It is a funny sight, when you think about it. One thing that I still am not used to is the attention that we get- negative attention. Men call out to us everywhere we go. Everyone makes comments, asking us to marry them, trying to get us to stop and talk to them. The craziest thing is the amount of times we hear people say, "Mzungu". All it means is "white person" but EVERYONE feels the need to say it as we walk by. It's like stating the obvious. Can you imagine people doing that in California? Pointing out every race as that person walks by? It's totally bizarre and completely tiresome after 3 weeks of that.I can't wait to go home and be invisible again.

It was cute because on Monday, at the Gulu wall, Collins, one of our leaders, told us to introduce ourselves officially to the kids. He said, in his soft spoken Ugandan voice, "Tell them your names so that they know it's not 'you' or 'mzungu'."

Ok, gotta go. Sorry for all the typos but no time to edit today!

New Photos

I just wanted to let you all know that I have added more photos to some of my previous blogs. Uploading photos takes so long here that I can never finish putting them all up during one internet sitting. Anyway, look back on the old blogs for more pics.
I'll try to write again soon. I don't think I've told you anything about the slums yet. We're going back today so I'll try and write about it tomorrow. Til then, au revoir!