Who am I trusting right now? I say I believe God's promises but, to be honest, I'm finding it really difficult to stand on them. I feel like my solid ground is a bit shaky right now. God is faithful, though. I listened to a beautiful sermon today by Dr. Charles Stanley about God's faithfulness. We say God is faithful but what helps us to believe in that? If anyone is to be faithful he must be these five things: Omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, truthful, never changing. Only God meets those qualifications.
If God were a changing God, we would have no leg to stand on. Everything would be uncertain. If then, God never changes, I should always be certain. All of the things that He said He would do will come to pass. He does not change His mind. Sometimes His promises are conditional and sometimes they are unconditional. He makes His promises clear and He always follows through.
I must remember who my God is. I have every reason to be certain that His way for me is good and He will give me the desires of my heart. He will provide what I ask for because I ask in His name and I have committed my way to Him. I think my commitment has not been very strong lately. I feel doubt pulling me in a different direction.
My devotion today asked how Satan had cast doubt on the things God had said concerning the forbidden tree in the garden when he tempted Eve. I answered automatically, "he put doubt in her mind about God's intentions for her and about His truthfulness." As soon as I finished writing I realized that that's exactly what is happening to me now. I am doubting God's goodness and truthfulness. A few months ago I heard God's promise to me that He would take me through this difficult time and that He had a plan for me. Up until the moment my life changed, I still felt that truth stronger than ever. Weeks later I have begun to doubt those very promises. There is a barrier between me and God that I don't want to be there.
The beautiful part is that this past year I have been so filled with the Holy Spirit. God gave me such a beautiful time of filling, in preparation for this valley that I am now going through. I know I will come out on the other side, eventually, because I have done so before. I have seen many people do it before, too. I continue to hear encouraging stories from women like me who have been through a valley like this and now they have beautiful stories to share because of it. I know that will happen for me. It certainly seems far away right now.
I am also encouraged when looking at people like Hannah in the Bible or Moses or even Paul. God uses the broken and the hurting to do His amazing work. I just pray that God uses me as a vessel for Him through this experience and/or after. I think that will be my prayer right now. I pray that my experience will be an encouragement to others.
"And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
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