What is Maturity?

What is maturity? It is difficult to define but I found a really interesting book that defined it in some beautiful ways. all quotes below are from the book, "Understanding People: Deep Longings for Relationship" by Lawrence J Crabb, Jr.
The author talks about how mature people are sometimes defined by their knowledge when we should really be defining them by different standards. "But often those who have the trappings of maturity don't seem to draw us to the Lord. We may be impressed, challenged, and stimulated- but not drawn. Truly mature people are seductive: they entice us to pursue a God whom they know better than we. Maturity is less related to perfection than to a growing awareness of imperfection."

When we develop maturity we are developing serenity in an intimate confidence with God. It "slowly crowds out self-absorption, pettiness, worry, resentment, and distance and in their place fills the inner person with the strength of worthy purpose and the joy of satisfying relationship."

In order to be mature we must eliminate the feeling of self protection. Self protection is what is underlying every word we say and every action that we do. "A mature pattern of relating involves whatever actions represent the abandonment of self protection." This will look different for different people. One person may abandon self protection and come across as pushy because they say no to something. Another may come across as very gentle because they are normally defensively pushy.
Abandonment of self protection will allow us to love others more than ourselves. This will impact all of our relationships for the better. One can even motivate others to look for change within themselves. In the presence of a truly loving person, "our growth seems more appealing to us than required of us. Because the relationship is never at stake, we sense the freedom to enter fully into the enjoyment of relationship rather than to keep the relationship intact."
I can personally see this happening in each of the lives of the girls that I lead in Bible study. Watching myself grow, along side my coleader, has impacted each girl, who is watching us, in such profound ways. I am definitely more mature than I was two years ago and I give God the glory for it. I look forward to continuing this journey to maturity.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thinking of the future

I have been thinking a lot lately about my future. I have so many dreams that it can be overwhelming for me to decide which one to follow. What can sometimes create discouragement for me is when I don't see any indication that those dreams will come true anytime soon. It is so easy for me to only look at my current circumstances and to believe that is all I will ever have. It is so difficult to trust in God's bigger picture sometimes.

Last night I had the pleasure of reading the last chapter in Stormie Omartian's book, "The power of a praying woman." It was specifically about allowing God to lead me into the future He has in store for me. There were so many treasures of truth in this chapter.

She talked about how important prayer and trust is. Think about prayer as an investment in your future. She also encourages us to keep doing what's right and resist the temptation to quit. I personally become discouraged so easily but that is exactly what the enemy wants from me and not what God plans for me. God commands us so many times in the Bible to not fear and be courageous. Courage is the opposite of discouragement.

"Don't judge your future by what you read in the newspapers or the words someone spoke over you one time. Your future is in God's hands... The only thing that is important is what he says about it. He wants you to be concerned with him because he is your future... Don't become discouraged if things don't happen as fast as you would like them to. Our perspective is temporal. His is eternal... It's at these very times when you feel as though you're not getting anywhere or you're missing the future God has for you, that God is actually preparing you for your future. And when the time is right, he has been known to do a very quick work. While it's good to set goals, don't look so far ahead that you become overwhelmed. Look to the Lord instead."

Encouraging words indeed. It's going to take a while to make this set in but I know that if I focus my heart and mind on God every day eventually it will stick.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

God is more than an ally

I received amazing insight from Dr. Larry Crabb today. I am reading an excerpt about understanding who we are and what relationships tell us about ourselves. It really breaks down how we have come to put up so many barriers to protect ourselves and, in the process, lose sight of what God's purpose is for us in relationships. Relationships are difficult and we have to trust God through them but sometimes we are too concerned about self protection, stating, "Perhaps it's a better idea to set clear boundaries between ourselves and others and to enjoy relationships- as much as we can- from a safe distance."
The problem with self protection is that we become self-centered. "What I understand to be the biblical approach encourages us to view self-centeredness as a worse enemy than self hatred... As we live our lives we will either put ourselves first or we will live for God...Either we will devote all our energies to overcoming our difficulties so that we can enjoy life again, or we will be more concerned to trust God in the midst of our problems so that we can better reflect his glory and serve his purposes."
When we have been hurt we are more vulnerable and develop self-hatred. Once we start thinking that way, as soon as we view God primarily as an ally in the all-important battle to overcome our self-hatred, we will treat the Bible as little more than a revelation of God's determination to help us like ourselves more. Jesus' sacrifice on the cross then is valued as proof of our worth. God's love becomes the means by which we find release from shame. The Holy Spirit is reduced to a cheerleader who stirs us with excitement about our terrific potential. And the community of believers becomes, more than anything else, an opportunity for personal healing. That is the reverse of the original plan."

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Do you believe you are worthy of love?

"If we want to fully experience love and belonging we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging... We can only love others as much as we love ourselves." Brene Brown, "The Gifts of Imperfection"


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone